Worth the means.

Here I am at work. Drinking cream with sugar and coffee. I rather like it. Life is pretty much amazingly good right now. I love my jobs. I'm staying busy. I'm learning more every day and I am starting to feel like I might actually be able to do things I have wanted to do for so long.

I'm eight months and a couple days away from becoming a wife and I'm feeling all the things I should feel surrounding that. Excited? Check. Scared? Check. Nervous, stressed, overjoyed, smitten, absolutely certain, skeptical? Check. I keep wondering what it's like on the other side. When I was in elementary school, I always had this secret strange curiosity about the Teacher's Lounge. What happens in there? What do they say about me? (Of course as an egocentric kiddo I was certain they were talking about me.) I was fascinated with the Teacher's Lounge and what it was like to be a teacher. I had the same curiosity about walk-in freezers at McDonald's. This special place that only certain people could access. I'm feeling the same way about marriage. What goes on when you live with this person? For the rest of your life? What's that about? I'm going to trust that the experience will be a bit more fulfilling than realizing that a teacher's lounge is a place with old, uncomfortable furniture and stale snacks brought by the designated staff member. And a bit more exciting than a walk-in freezer, which is really - well - a big freezer. But while I do hold marriage in high esteem and I believe that there is some magic in the faith, commitment, and love that marriage entails, I know that there will be some degree of disenchantment after the highly anticipated wedding day ends. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with mature love - less butterflies-in-the-stomach; more knowing what the other person is thinking and how you can support them. Less fear, more love. I'm rambling.

Off to do some work for work at work. Happy Superbowl weekend. Let's hope the commercials keep me interested.