I'm on my feet.

The wrath of sleeplessness has come. Though I haven't done this in a long time, I used to be quite adept at functioning on less than five hours of sleep a night for a period of about a week. In my advanced age, though, I learned today that only four nights of sleep deprivation leads me to pass out for the majority of an afternoon that was meant to be spent working on a paper and presentation. I had dreams that I was talking to people and doing important things whist being half-asleep (those are always the dreams I have when I'm tired) and then I awoke to the sound of my new employer telling me I'm hired... but there's not a job for met yet (it's a nanny placement agency). So that was good news and bad. Good in that I don't have to search for another job, but bad in that I technically still don't have one.

And now here I sit, lethargic and contemplating how long it will take to make my apartment sufficiently clean and sparkly for Jonathan's arrival tomorrow, and wondering if I'll even start the paper tonight at all, and thinking that I'm not even sure whether I'm hungry or thirsty. I just kinda... am.

I'm on my feet
I'm on the floor
I'm good to go
All I need is just to hear a song I know
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight

Why I run.

"Our running shoes are really erasers. Every step erases a memory of a past failure. Every mile brings us closer to a clean slate. Each footstrike rubs away a word, a look, or an event, which led us to believe that success is beyond our grasp"

-- John "The Penguin" Bingham

Maybe I'm amazed.

Just got back from a run. It was beautiful and serene and fun and challenging and worth it, worth it, worth it. I got to see the sun rise, explore previously uncharted Topeka territory (well - for me at least)... Perfect. Oh and the picture is not from this morning - it's from last Sunday's Raintree Half Marathon in Lawrence. I'm the one in black. Maybe I'll be like Johnny Cash and run in black all the time. I guess that's the only color of running stuff I really buy, so it should work out rather nicely.

Now a storm is coming. I'm just feeling so incredibly blessed. I have legs that let me run, a cat, food, a place to live, friends and family near and far. Life is good.

By the way, I'm running the marathon in a few weeks and I'm running each mile for a different person. So I'm putting the list here even though I don't know who's out there reading - but if you are, I'll be thinking about you all during your mile and praying for you and remembering things you have done to encourage me and times when you have inspired me.

1. Mom
2. Bryan
3. Marshall
4. Justin
5. Renee
6. Katie
7. Gretchen
8. Amanda
9. Courtney
10. Kim
11. Lisa
12. Dr. P
13. Terry
14. Richard
15. Michelle
16. Auntie M
17. Connor
18. Parker
19. Riley
20. Abby
21. Adrian
22. Nana and Papa
23. Papa Z
24. Auntie M's baby
25. Momo
26. Jonathan

...And the last .2 miles is for me.

Watch the feet.

I realized today how protective I have become of my precious feet and ankles (and, working up from there, knees...hips...lower back...but I digress) since starting this marathon training business. Today I really took a risk and chose the dangerous grassy path to my car over the safety of the level concrete sidewalk, and I probably looked to my imaginary audience like I didn't know how to walk. I was looking down and being super careful in my flip-flops not to twist my ankle. Just something to think about I guess. I like my feet. They do good things for me and I have to treat them well if I want them to get me through until May 7th.

But alas, the job hunt beckons.